loving and loved
by AlisonTaylor
Summary: This is about what would happen if Bella would have had a boy and Jacob hadnt imprinted... Yet till now... first fan fiction..Will add more when done typing. I Do NOT own anything unfortunatly:-
1. Chapter 1

For the love of a wolf

Chapter 1: Settling In

New York. It was beautiful, that makes it even harder to leave. Today I have to move back to my birthplace La Push, a tiny Indian reservation. It is located just south of Forks Washington.

The reason behind my moving is because my mom, Jane, has decided to take a job offer in Australia and feels it is better for me to stay in the states. So she decided to send me with my cousin Emily.

I am an original Quileute descendent. I moved to New york when I was young. My mother needed an escape from everything that reminded her of my father. He died of terminal cancer before I was born.

My things were packed already in the back of my moms car. I was ready to leave here, seeing the bare walls of my room was driving me insane.

"Alison!" my inpatient mother yelled.

"Be there in a minute," I told her.

I took one last look in the mirror to make sure I wasn't missing something essential. My jeans and blue shirt weren't the most complimenting thing I had and I frankly didn't care at the moment.

My hair was down and straightened. I was cursed with uncurly and unstraight hair. It is brown with unnatural blonde tints at the bottom. My hair is short and layered at the shoulders and above.

I have a dark complexion, like most Quileute people. I have fairly clear skin for the most part.

My eyes are dark brown and inherited from my father. They are almost black. I use eyeliner to enhance them, and lets just say I am not very naturally pretty.

I was going through the door now shutting it on the way. I reluctantly went to the passenger side and climbed in; I had recently acquired a learner's permit and wished to use it. That didn't happen very often.

"Finally," my mother groaned.

"I was waiting on you," I remarked. I turned on the music and nothing more was said.

My mother looked like me except with lighter eyes. She never had to try to do anything really. She never remarried after my father's death. I tried to comfort her when she got upset over it but it was hard for I had never known him.

Pictures were the only way I was able to see him. They were pictures of him when my mother was pregnant with me, before he was hospitalized and never spoke again.

I was deep in thought when I noticed that we were at the airport already. I grabbed two of my bags while my mother got the other two.

I was about to board the plane when my mother spoke.

"Call me when you get there. I love you and miss you already. Bye," she said.

"I will and I do too. Bye mom," I waved and then took my seat.

The plane ride was long but I slept most of the way there. When I got off I weaved my way through the Seattle airport until I was at the front where I found Emily and her fiancée, Sam waiting.

I already had my bags struggling with them. Sam came up to me and took the three heavy ones leaving me with the light one.

"Thanks," I said.

"Hi, Alison," Emily exclaimed.

"Hi," I said to Emily.

They walked me to their car with Emily chattering happily the whole way. When we got in the car she restarted her talking. I just nodded my head and did the appropriate gestures at the right times.

"We're here," Emily chirped," don't worry about your bags, Sam can get them while I give you a tour of the house."

"Ok," I responded.

We walked up a sidewalk lined with flowers of every kind. When we got to the porch Emily held it for me. I just smiled.

"This is the kitchen obviously; I love to cook so if you ever feel hungry just ask me."

The kitchen was clean and well organized; it had a wooden table in the middle with a cracked china pitcher in the middle over flowing with wildflowers. It had your basic appliances and some other things I felt no need to touch in fear I would brake it. She then pulled me to another room.

"The living room," she said

There was a couch in the middle with two recliners on either side, one a light brown color, the other a darker shade of brown. Directly in front of the seats was a TV. Then we went through a long hallway she started pointing to doors naming there purpose.

"Sam and I's room, the bathroom, and your room," she said opening the door to the last room.

It had a bed to fit two people, a dresser, closet, and a shelf over top of the bed. On either side of the bed was a night stand one holding an alarm clock and a picture of Emily and Sam.

"I will let you get unpacked, dinner will be done in about a half an hour," she said slipping back into the hall way. I started to unpack my clothes found an orange picture frame. It held two pictures of me and my friend Carlie when we were about 4 in the Halloween picture and about one in the one of us when we were in diapers and our pajama shirt on.

I sat it on the shelf next to the one of Sam and Emily. I was done packing before to long and wondered down stairs. I could here a third voice this time. It was male and husky like Sams.

When I got into the kitchen I saw the most beautiful person I had ever seen in my life.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The third person had glossy black hair, his skin was beautiful, silky, and russet colored; his eyes were dark, set deep above the high planes of his cheekbones.

I quickly looked down not wanting to blow my cover.

"Hi, I'm Jacob Black," he said

"Hi I'm Alison, but I prefer Ali." I said back. What just happened? My stomach hurts, not in a bad way though. Why in the hey do I feel like this. There is only one explanation. I have a crush. To bad this can only end in heart break he couldn't possibly like me back.

_"Stop feeling like this you're only setting yourself up,"_ the voice in my head screamed.

"You guys can go talk in the front room while Sam and I finish up in here." Emily spoke up. She and Sam obviously understood the expression that seemed to be plastered on his face.

I didn't wait I just walked to the living room and sat down on the coach. A few seconds later Jacob walked into the room and sat next me. I smiled not sure if I could speak yet.

Wow he was… Big. Way taller than me and very strong from the looks of him.

"So your Emily's cousin, right?" he asked starting the conversation, thank God.

"Yeah, but we might as well have been sisters. We were attached at the hip till I moved." I answered.

"Where did you move to?"

"New York,"

"Oh, so what got you sent back here then?"

"My mom took a job in Australia and wanted me to stay here in the states. It was fine with me though because Emily and everything."

"You'll probably like it here even though it's not a big city. That's where most new kids come from anymore."

"It shouldn't be too hard of a conversion," I stated matter of factly.

I guess it was my expression but he started laughing like I had said something funny. I waited for him to stop so I could talk, finally he calmed down.

"How old are you?" I questioned.

"Sixteen, and you?"

"Fifteen but I will be sixteen in about three months,"

"So are you a sophomore too?"

"Yeah, when does school end here?"

"Monday, are you going tomorrow and Monday?"

"Probably I'm already registered."

"You want a ride?"

"Yeah that would help not knowing where it is." We were really close and that sort of embarrassed me when Sam came in and told us dinner was ready. I have no clue why though.

Jacob sat next to me during dinner while we all chattered about this and that not really holding on to a topic very long. When we were all done Jacob and Sam went to watch the game while Emily and I cleaned up the kitchen.

When we did dishes Emily washed and I rinsed and dried.

"So is Jacob taking you to school tomorrow and Monday?"

"Yeah," I said with a sigh I was pretty tired. When we were done we went to sit with them. I took a seat next to Jacob, it was the only one open and the only one I wanted.

"Well I guess I'm going to go," Jacob said at around ten, "Bye Ali, bye guys."

When he left was when I noticed how warm he was physically. I was cold and tired so I decided to go to bed.

"'night guys," I told them. I walked to my room and grabbed my oversized shirt and purple pajama bottoms to where to bed. I brushed my teeth quickly, wanting to only sleep.

I crawled into bed and thankfully sank into a deep sleep.

I woke to a gray morning at six forty-five a.m. I went down to the kitchen and threw down some cereal so I could start getting ready for the day of school.

I decided on a pink top and a pair of blue jeans. When I was done dressing I pulled my hair into a ponytail leaving my bangs down. I did my make-up like I always did and headed downstairs to get my bag and shoes on.

I was about to sit down but I heard a knock that made me excited and anxious to go to school. Ok this kid is messing me up, first I actually like him and now I want to go to school. That's not right.

I opened the door to see Jacob standing there with a nervous expression that disappeared quickly after I opened the door fully.

"Hey," he said," you might want to get a jacket its pretty cold out here,"

"I already have one," I said. As if I need one he is warm enough but I didn't speak this aloud afraid to say anything at all. We went to the car, he had a Volkswagen rabbit. Nice.

He opened the door for me and when he got in I thanked him.

"I like your car it's nice," I complimented.

"Thanks I built it myself," he said proudly.

"Really? That's cool most of the people I know can hardly figure out how to roll down the windows unless they are automatic." I said

"You're kidding me, that's sad." He said and we both laughed.

"I know right," Its easy to make conversation with Jake. He's nice and that makes it a lot easier on me for today, rather than to go in have no clue where to go or what to do.

"Here we are," he told me.

"UGH." I groaned. We got out and met at the front of the car.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Nope. Let's go, I'm cold" I said. He put his arm around my shoulder which instantly made me warmer. It also made my heart beat erratically.

"Do you have your schedule?" he asked

"Yeah," I said handing it to him. He studied it for a second and then his face lightened.

"We have all the same classes," he said delighted. I was happy too; I didn't have to struggle with figuring out what was going on. And if I was being truthful with myself, the whole idea of having Jacob with me during classes was really pleasing.

"_Well don't blame me when you're crying in your room because he doesn't like you like that._" That stupid, little, annoying voice in my head told me.

We walked into the school and he led me into what looked to be the office. He grabbed some papers off the ledge and handed them to me.

"You have to sign in here," he told me. I just nodded and signed my name in my sloppy hand writing. Most people tried to tell me it was good but it wasn't.

He returned the papers and looked at the clock. It was almost eight fifteen.

"What time does class start?" I asked.

"Eight fifteen the first bell rings, and eight twenty is when we have to be in class or we are late."

"Oh,"

"I'll show you your locker later, it's by mine." He smiled at that and so did I.

We walked into a full class; the teacher was in the back at her desk typing on her keyboard. She looked up at our entrance. Jacob took me back to her.

"Hello I'm Mrs. Chase, your algebra teacher," she said.

"Hi, I'm Alison Taylor," I told her, no need for any of my teachers to know my nickname, it's just weird.

"You can take a seat next to Jacob," she said. I obeyed her by following Jacob to his seat. A few minutes later Mrs. Chase moved to the front of the class.

"Today you can just sit and talk, the school year is almost over why not celebrate?" she said. I think I would like her more than most other teachers here.

"Cool," Jake said after she retook her position at her desk in the back. A few seconds later a guy and a girl moved to sit in the desks surrounding ours.

"Hey, Jake," the guy said.

"Hey guys, this is Ali," he told them.

"Hi, I'm Embry," said the boy.

"And I'm Lily," said the girl.

"Hi," I said shyly. Jake and Embry started talking about things like cars and things I had no clue about so the girl scooted closer to talk to me.

"I'm glad to have a girl to talk to today, it gets way to confusing when they start talking car," she said.

"Yeah, I get pretty confused when he talks about that stuff too." We continued the conversation throughout the class period, randomly starting on different topics whenever we go bored with the last.

When that class ended Jake showed me my locker but told me I wouldn't need it other than to hold the few books that were still out.

The classes passed in just about the same manner as the first. Soon we walked into the cafeteria. We didn't get food, we just sat down.

"Wow, I'm tired," I said.

"Want to skip the afternoon classes so I can show you something?" he asked in a low voice.

"What?" I wondered obviously too loud, because he shhhed.

"I'll show you when we get there," he promised. Dang it, now I was too curious I had to go.

"Ok, we can go," I whispered. We slipped out of the cafeteria unnoticed and ran to his car.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Soon we were racing down the road laughing with the music blaring at top volume. I knew somewhere in the back of my mind I was going to pay for this but right now I didn't care.

I was having fun. That's all that mattered to me at the moment because back home I would have never ever done this.

Plus Jacob was so gorgeous I didn't care how much trouble I got in if I was getting in trouble with him. Why was I doing this to myself? Honestly I never did this to myself when I was with mom but now, things are… different I guess. I don't know myself like I thought I did I guess.

We pulled up to a small house just as it was beginning to rain. He grabbed my hand and we ran to the back of the house where there was a make shift garage and we ran inside, his hand was warm like always and the touch of his skin sent sparks through my entire body.

"This is not exactly what I was going to show you when I thought of it… But this will work until it stops raining or I can have more time to plan things out. I really just didn't want to stay at that stupid school any longer it was driving me insane. And I have no clue why…" he trailed off looking off into my eyes.

I just looked back at him, and I realized he still had my hand. I broke away from his gaze no matter how hard it seemed it would be, and looked at our hands and blushed.

"Oh," he said and let go, "I'm sorry."

"No it was okay, you were keeping me warm," I said with a slow grin.

"I'm your not so travel sized personal heater," he said with a laugh.

"Well you may be bigger than travel sized but easier to carry along and I don't need a plug in to get you to work," I said smiling. Oh god. I did it. I actually flirted with him. But wait, he was taking it and returning it not receiving and rejecting. Does he..? Could he..?

No I can't think he will or I will end up hurt and I don't want that at all. But he's so likeable.

UGH!

I walked a little closer and took his hand back in mine. He didn't move just started looking in my eyes again like he was looking into my mind, like he could see my every thought.

"What?" I asked. Did I have something on my face or what?

"Nothing, it's just your eyes are beautiful, so dark and insightful." He said with a shy smile.

"Thank you," I said blushing, but also trying to hide the huge smile and excitement I felt on the inside.

I think this was going to fast but... wait what was going to fast? Nothing, nothing is. I sometimes fascinate myself in the ways in which I think and work.

All my friends and even my mom thought and think I should be a blond, I know I'm not ridiculously smart but I think I'm pretty okay if I'm not making a comment that sounds like a dumb blond would say or if I'm not tripping… Okay I see where they came from now.

"Do you want to go to the beach?" Jake suddenly asked.

"Isn't it raining?" I asked.

"Not anymore. The beach is really pretty right after it rains a little." He said trailing off with hope in his eyes.

"Okay, we can go."

He just smiled and led me out the opposite side of the garage we came from.

It was beautiful outside, so green with every sort of vegetation growing on everything. It was different, I was used to street lights and a city that never slept, not a homey quiet environment.

In New York you always were just trying to get where you were going so that you were less likely to get jumped, with like an ak47 or something. Here you could just wonder and get lost in your thoughts while taking a walk, like we were doing now.

We were walking down a hill to the beach now, the wind was starting to pick up and it was getting colder. Jake still had my hand, wait no we are holding hands, I don't remember making that switch.

But it was okay with me, I moved a little closer because I was starting to shake. It was amazing the heat that radiated off of him, it felt like he had a fever. He didn't act sick at all though.

Anyways he already knew he was that warm. \

He was right the beach was beautiful, the sand was a sparkling grey, and the waves that hit the shore were a blue color. We walked by a patch of rainbow colored, glittering rocks and he stopped us right in front of a twisted tree. It was a bleached white colored and it looked like it was made perfectly for two people to sit and talk.

He turned toward me and raised his eyebrows. All I could do was look up at the tall figure; none of my thoughts were coherent so I knew for sure I wouldn't be able to form coherent sentences.

He flashed the most adorable, beautiful smile which caused all trains of thought to be immediately lost. I shivered and my teeth started to chatter, to my embarrassment.

I just looked down and started laughing at myself.

"Are you that cold?" he asked lifting my chin up with his index finger.

"Yyeahh," I stuttered.

"Come here," he said pulling me into his arms. He set us down on the white tree and kept me there. He was so huge almost my whole upper body was covered.

I was really warm and on the verge of falling asleep. I didn't want to fall asleep though so I pulled my head off of his chest and he looked down with a puzzled expression.

"I was about to fall asleep," I admitted.

"I wouldn't have minded," He said with a laugh.

"What fun would it be for you if I fell asleep?"

"It wouldn't have mattered," he answered.

We continued talking for the longest time. We talked about things there were to do around there, talked about what we liked and what we didn't, favorite books, favorite movies, movies and books we hated. By the end of all of that I didn't think there was one thing he didn't know about me or I didn't know about him.

"What are you afraid of then?" he asked me.

"Well... It's really embarrassing but I'm afraid of ladybugs," I said. I really was though. I had a bad experience when I was little. A whole bunch of lady bugs attacked me and bit me. It scarred me for life.

"Ladybugs? Seriously Alison?" he said laughing.

"Yes, I'm serious. Anyways what are you scared of? Butterflies?" I asked.

"Oh that's it!" he yelled.

I got up and started running down the beach him right behind. It was starting to rain. Before I could get too far away from the tree had grabbed me by the waist and had me in his arms spinning me around.

It was pouring down raining by the time he set me down and I was dizzy and stumbling which he thought was hilarious.

"Let's go get you dry before you get sick," he said still not done laughing at me.

"Okay I'm already pretty wet you know," I said.

"Yeah, you can wear some of my clothes no big deal." He said. Then he got this suspicious little grin on his face and he picked me up like a baby and started running toward his house.

"Jake!" I gasped out of surprise. He just laughed and kept going. I was holding on to his neck for my life.

It only took a few minutes to get to his house surprisingly. But then again it's sort of hard to know how fast we were going when I had my eyes closed and head buried against his chest.

He sat me on the couch and said, "I'll be right back," and disappeared around the corner. It didn't take him long to come back with a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt for me. But I really didn't notice that because all he was wearing was a pair of cut off shorts and a white beater.

I had to snap out of it so I looked down and he gave me the clothes.

"Bathroom is the second door to the right down that hallway," he said.

"Okay," I said and went to change.

I looked in the mirror and realized I looked horrible. I fixed my hair to the best of my ability and got the running make up off my face. I had to use my extra pony tail holder to pull some of the extra t-shirt away so the shirt looked smaller.

I finally gave up on trying to look any better and went back to the small living room.

"Is that fine?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah but you're just a wee bit taller than me," I said smiling and pulling up the pants.

"Eh, I actually think it looks pretty dang good," he said. I just laughed and went to sit next to him.

**A/N I know that wasn't the best ending ever but it's all I had for now. I have had no time to write at all lately but I finally got too. I need reviews or I prolly won't be updating to soon. I might but if I don't got any reviews than it doesn't really matter.. **

**Xoxo ****Alison**


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